Thursday, 17 December 2015

Todays new meds part 3

So I've been on this medication for quite a while now. It works really well. I don't hear the voices at all and have few feelings of paranoia. The only trouble is, it has horrendous side effects.
People probably don't think side effects of medication would be that important as long as it is doing the job it is intended to do. The truth is that side effects can make one question whether it is worth being on the medication at all.
There are certain problems I have which started round about the same time i started my new medication. For instance tiredness. I don't mean 'just a bit sleepy' I mean really tired. I have always been an insomniac, since I was a little baby, but I've actually been sleeping really well recently. Too well. I can go to bed reasonably early and yet sleep through my alarm. I have been able to sleep through till 3PM before. Sometimes I just can't get up at all and I have to spend the entire day in bed. This is not laziness. I really cannot open my eyes and have the energy to get up. Sometimes if I manage to get myself up early I can't last the whole day and have to go for a nap. It really interferes with my life. How am I meant to experience life and do anything if I'm stuck in bed the whole time. I'm never going to be able to get a job this way.
Another thing that has happened over the last year or so is that I have put on an awful amount of weight. This is i guess partly a problem to do with vanity, no 30 year old wants to look overweight but i also feel heavy. I don't feel comfortable in my body anymore. I put on a bit of weight after coming back from uni. This was understandable as i was less active and could afford to eat more. However, over the last year I have gone up 2 dress sizes. I eat reasonably healthy I think and even went vegan for a month (which I am mostly keeping up). I thought I'd lose a few pounds by cutting out dairy but i feel more heavy than ever. It doesn't help either that I don't have the energy to get up and do lots of exercise.
I spoke to my Psychiatrist about the medication he put me on but he was mainly interested in whether or not it was doing the job it was meant to. Not bothered about the side effects. As I've said before, different medical professionals are just interested in their particular field. His one piece of advice though was to feel more energetic, do more exercise. Not helpful at all. I have decided instead to speak to my GP who is very good and hope she has some advice.
It's very difficult writing this without sounding lazy, vain, whingy or whiny. But they are things that people on medication have to go through. The next question is, what is more important, staying on the meds and having side effects or coming off and potentially feeling paranoid again. Perhaps I can find a happy medium.